Daily Joke

In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Christy Sheridan has come a long way from the physical and emotional wreck she used to be. She's made Alden her HOME and is happily engaged to a man who loves and accepts her for who she is, curves, quirks, and geekiness included. Life is good. Until mommy dearest blows into town to "help" her clueless daughter seal the deal.

Cole Bowen is experiencing a world of firsts: first time in love, first engagement, first Valentine's, first in-laws. He's found the woman of his dreams, so he figured dealing with Martha Sheridan was a small price to pay. That is before his monster-in-law plants herself in their HOME and inside Christy's head, stirring up old demons and destroying her newly regained self-esteem. And while his hands are full with trying to neutralize their meddlesome guest, a mysterious phone call turns his world upside down.

With ghosts from the past resurfacing and threatening to tear Cole and Christy APART, can they make it to the wedding they both so desperately want, or will heavy secrets send their relationship to the breaking point?

Daily Joke

"You the bomb!"
"No, you the bomb!"
Kind gesture in America.
Argument on the Middle East.

In Honor...

..of Teen Wolf coming on tonight! YEAH!!

I know they weren't on last season...but it would be awesome if they came back!

Daily Joke

It's all shits & giggles...
Until someone giggles & shits

Pepe Toth

Daily Joke

Why is the media so negative?
Instead of "Polar Bear Kills Alaskan Teen", why not..
"Alaskan Teen Feeds Starving Polar Bear"?

Friday Vid

Daily Joke

Make tomorrow more fun–
Unplug the copier at work and put a sign on it saying "Now voice activated!"
Sit back and watch the magic unfold.

Out Today

Daily Joke

It doesn't matter how old or badass you are... when a kid hands you their ringing toy cell phone, you'll still answer it.

Daily Joke

5 Things I hope to say in my life:

1. It's NOT what it looks like.
2. Follow that car!
3. ....and that's why I'll never go to Vegas again.
4. What if it's not a who... but a what?
5. You did what? For how many cookies?!

Daily Joke

"I'LL SLIT YOUR F**KING THOART!"
"Grandma, calm down! It's just bingo!"

Daily Joke

Ugh, you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.

UFC Goodness!

You can't even tell that they get hit in the face for a living.

Daily Joke

Dear Dad,
       Thanks for giving me just enough emotional baggage to be in a creative field, but not enough to be a stripper. Love you.

One Tree Hill

...can you ever really get enough?

Daily Joke

Are we all just going to ignore the fact that Willy Wonka enslaves an entire population?

Daily Joke

Sometimes you just need to do something stupid while sober so that people will leave you alone about hour drinking

AAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Christian Grey exercises control in all things; his world is neat, disciplined, and utterly empty—until the day that Anastasia Steele falls into his office, in a tangle of shapely limbs and tumbling brown hair. He tries to forget her, but instead is swept up in a storm of emotion he cannot comprehend and cannot resist. Unlike any woman he has known before, shy, unworldly Ana seems to see right through him—past the business prodigy and the penthouse lifestyle to Christian’s cold, wounded heart.  

Will being with Ana dispel the horrors of his childhood that haunt Christian every night? Or will his dark sexual desires, his compulsion to control, and the self-loathing that fills his soul drive this girl away and destroy the fragile hope she offers him?


This book is intended for mature audiences.

Daily Joke

I just read that last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but should't that be an even number?

Daily Joke

My parents spankes me as a child...

As a result I now suffer from a psychological condition known as "Respect for others".

I'm told it's incurable.

WWE Hotties

I don't know what they feed them but they age so well!...

Daily Joke

Adele: I set fire...to the rain!

Spongebob: Bitch, please! I make campfires under water!

Daily Joke

"Mommy! There's a monster under my bed!"
"That's silly, there's no such thing as mo....OH GOD IT'S TEARING MY ARM OFF!"
*Child screams*
"Kidding. He only eats kids. Goodnight honey."

Daily Joke

"I'd chose a lazy person to do the hardest job, because they'll surely find an easy way to do it."
—Bill Gates

Proud to be lazy anyone?

Daily Joke

I only drink twice a year:

1. On my birthday

2. When it's not my birthday

I don't think my brother's a good influence...

...He showed me this.

Out Today!!

Daily Joke

You know you're still a kid at heart when you're sweating in your sleep because you're covered from head to toe just so all the ghosts, demons, and killers can't get to you.

So close yet so far...

Daily Joke

Who's guilty here?

A wife is dreaming, wakes up and shouts "Quick, my husband's home!"
Her husband wakes up and jumps out the window.

**Talk about awkward!

Daily Joke

Is it bad that the only reason I can spell "beautiful" is because of Bruce Almighty?

Reality Hottness

Sorry for the delay. Internet problems.

Daily Joke

Imagine a horror movie where you're trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers.
So you're running for your life from a psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off.

Daily Joke

Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds like fun if you don't know what either of those things are.

Daily Joke

You don't truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.

Daily Joke

Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and society wants everbody to get along.

Friday

Daily Joke

Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus.

I couldn't help but think, it would work much better on the front.

Love at first bite!

Bittens 2-episode season finale comes on tonight on Syfy. Super excited. I love the show!!

Spy Out Today!

I've loved Melissa McCarthy since Gilmore Girls, and into her movies and Mike & Molly. It seems like she just keeps getting funnier. I would so be her....that sounded creepier than I thought it would.

Daily Joke

I have been getting the sweetest text messages from people I don't even know. Nothing can make somebodys day more than reading "You look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!"

Daily Joke

I learned to watch my back after seeing a dude kill his brother and try to bang his chick.

Life comes at you fast when you're a kid watching Lion King.

Vicious Cycle

Deacon Malloy's life is dedicated to the Hells Raiders motorcycle club. Tough, hard, and fast with his fists, he serves the group as sergeant at arms. But his devil-may-care approach to life is thrown for a loop when the five-year-old daughter he never knew existed lands on the club steps.

Alexandra Evans is devoted to all her students—but there's always been something about Willow Malloy that tugs at her heart. There's an aura of sadness about her, a girl in need of all the love Alexandra can give. When Willow stops coming to school, Alexandra's search leads to a clubhouse full of bikers...and a father hell-bent on keeping his daughter always within sight.

The moment Deacon sees Alexandra, he has to have her in his bed—and he's never met a woman yet who couldn't be persuaded. No matter how attracted she is to Deacon, Alexandra refuses to be just another conquest. But it's Deacon himself who could be seduced—into a brighter future for himself, his daughter, and the woman he's falling for against all odds.



***On a side note, Yum! to the cover guy.

Daily Joke

My mom always told me if I didn't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.
And people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.

Daily Joke

I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes signs his credit card receipts "Batman" when he's drunk.
I know I do.

Men

Today is normally the day I chose the Man of the Month, but it's my birthday this month so I thought "Why shine the light on just one man?" So this month isn't going to be Man, it's going to be Men!...Lots and lots of glorious men.

And so the Countdowns begin!

In 31 days

In 30 days

In 29 days

In 23 days

In 10 days

And in less than 6 hours