Daily Joke

Are we all just gonna ignore the fact that Willy Wonka enslaved an entire population?

On Tonight

It's out people!! I'm reading it! Squeal with me.....no...ok.

Ally Marshall isn’t just a wolf shifter—she’s a Seer. But a girl doesn’t exactly need special powers to know that Derren Hudson despises her entire kind. Disdain practically rolls off the Beta of the Mercury Pack…disdain mixed with a healthy dose of desire. And no matter how much the ruggedly handsome male appeals to her, this is one call of the wild she’s determined to ignore.

After one betrayal too many, Derren doesn’t have much use for Seers—except for Ally. Forced into acting as her protector, he finds himself intensely and passionately drawn to the woman who incites his primal instinct to claim. And when enemies target the pack, Ally’s gift may be just what the Mercury Pack needs. Can he put his distrust aside, or will he force himself to turn his back on the one woman who makes his inner beast howl?

Daily Joke

Him: Hi, I'm Christian, but you can call me Dick for short. 
Her: How do you get Dick from Christian? 

Him: You ask nicely.

Daily Joke

Girl: I'd like to cancel my subscription to "Menstral Cycle Monthly".

Mother Nature: I'm sorry, it appears you've taken out a 56 year subscription. However, we can pause it for 9 months as long as you sign a contract that says you'll take out of subscription to "Baby Daily" for at least 18 years.

Girl: Damn those terms and conditions.

Daily Joke

25% of women in the U.S. are medicated for mental illness.

That means 75% are running around untreated.

Daily Joke

Some guy just gave me half a peace sign...
Weirdo.

Friday Vid

Daily Joke

Leonardo DiCaprio: *names his child 'Oscar'*
Doctor: Would you like to hold...
Leonardo DiCaprio: *shakes fist* Say it like we rehearsed it!!
Doctor: *sighs* And the Oscar goes to..

Daily Joke

What if a Ouija Board was like an afterlife call center...?
"Hey Joey, line 396 is open. Three teenagers in the dark want to talk to some ghost or something."
"I'm gonna prank them so hard."
"Joey no."
"I'm gonna say I'm Satan."
"JOEY THIS IS WHY THEY MADE A SH*TTY MOVIE ABOUT US!"

Daily Joke

If pigs could fly....
Imagine how good their wongs would taste.

With only one month left in college, Ian is busy enjoying what time he has left with his friends. Since reaching maturity, his life hasn’t been as carefree as it used to be, but he’s found a way to fight his growing destructive urges by losing himself in women. That is until Paige enters his life and falls half dead into his arms. Looking only to keep her safe, Ian flees with her. 

Paige has spent the past four years of her life training to fight and kill vampires. Her desire for revenge is the only thing that’s kept her going, so when she’s forced into hiding with Ian she’s determined to believe he’s nothing but another monster in need of beheading. The more time they spend together, the more she begins to question what she’s always believed about vampires. Unfortunately, if she lets him in, she’ll have to admit that what she’s fought so hard for may be nothing but a lie. 

Ian is determined to make her see him for what he truly he is, and not what she believes him to be. He can only hope he’ll be able to do so before she returns to her old life, and the certain death awaiting her. 

She hit him with a door, so he stole her heart… 

When wereferret Melanie Baxter meets werebear Foster Lawson, every part of her ferret stands up and takes notice. After her ex offers to sleep with her sister, Melanie isn’t inclined to listen to his sweet nothings. Then she meets a bear who smells so good, with the muscles and the ice blue eyes. And… yeah. 

He wants to take things slow, his bear doesn’t… 

Werebear Foster never imagined himself with a mate. Not when his massive animal is constantly on a hair trigger. He definitely didn’t think he’d end up with a sinfully sweet and curved in all the right places wereferret named Melanie Baxter. 
His plans for a slow seduction of his mate are destroyed when a man from her past steps forward and tries to take what’s Foster’s. Not. Happening. 

Daily Joke

Life's a marathon...
And you can't win a marathon without putting a few band-aids on your nipples.

Daily Joke

Whoever stole my shoes while I was in the bouncy castle......
Grow up, dude!!

Premieres Tonight!

When Aubrey Night receives an invitation to a new were-fighting sports arena, her brother sends her along with a few guards to see what the fights are all about. In spite of the glitz and glamour surrounding the event, she doesn’t expect to find her truemate among the fighters. 

Saber-toothed tiger shifter Alaric Carmichael has been having mating dreams for the last year. After sharing his mating dream details with the owner of an underground shifter fighting group, he swore an oath that he and his saber pride would fight for the owner until they’ve all found their mates. As he fights every night, he begins to think it’s a lost cause, until one night when he scents his mate in the crowd. 

Now, Alaric has a new purpose in life: making his mate deliriously happy. It’s a good thing she likes the way he purrs. Contains m/f interaction, a rare shifter, and the human who makes him purr.

Daily Joke

Dear customer service: 
First of all, you should know I'm typing this with my middle finger.

Daily Joke

Bomber: "Are you ready to die, friend?"
Harry: "F*ck you."
Bomber: "Oh... in two hundred years we've come from 'I regret that I have but one life to give for my country' to 'f*ck you'?"


.....aaahhh the evolution of man.

Plus-size Rebecca is on a jaunt to another world. She had hopes of finding herself a nice, sweet shifter like her sister, but somehow she ended up attracted to the big, fiery dragon. A dragon who isn’t looking for love. If only he didn’t have eyes that made her want to take her panties off and a body that sent her hormones into a frenzy, life would be a lot easier. 

Vikter Dragos is dying. His dragon couldn’t find a mate and he’s at the end of his time. He’s fighting the attraction for a sassy, curvy human, but it’s near impossible to stay away from her. If only she’d been his mate, everything would be smoother. He’s losing control of his dragon and his emotions. With Becca around, he didn’t know what to expect. 

Becca’s in constant confusion over Vikter’s hot and cold attitude. One moment he’s kissing her like the world’s going to end, and the next he’s warning her away from getting attached. Figuring out how to scale this dragon might take more patience than she’s got. When competition arises and Vikter sees another wants Becca, he’ll face his feelings or risk losing her forever. 

Out Today

Friday Vid

This is on my bucket list.

Daily Joke

I'm horrible at math.

I tried to find the radius of a circle and accidentally summoned satan.

....my future child.

Daily Joke

If porn has taught me anything, it's that detention is not a punishment.

Daily Joke

I take the L and R on my headphones seriously.

Daily Joke

How do people know spiders are more afraid of us than we are of them? I mean.. did you ask them?
Cause only one of us is screaming like a b*tch right now.

Daily Joke

Love is telling someone to go to hell...then worrying if they'll get there safely.

Daily Joke

Fact: Hitlers first love was a Jеw.

Point: Be careful who's heart you f*ck with, ladies. Your entire race may pay for it.

Daily Joke

I've just drunk a whole bottle of Chinese vodka..

I can hardly keep my eyes open.

Friday Vid

Daily Joke

I hate it when I don't forward a chain message and die the next day.

Daily Joke

11 year old girls are like- "Its complicated"
And I'm like- "Dude, it cant be that complicated. What did he do? Take your animal cookies?"

Europe vs USA

Team McGegor vs Team Faber

Season 22 of The Ultimate Fighter premieres tonight!!

Daily Joke

If I were a serial killer, after every successful murder I'd probably say "killed it" and laugh myself into a retarded frenzy.

Daily Joke

I could give a f*ck about no haters, as long as my b*tches love me.

Words to live by.

Daily Joke

When someone calls 'Shotgun', 
I yell 'Rosa Parks',
..and sit in the seat and refuse to move.

Daily Joke

Not sure if I'm emotionally strong and can handle anything or I'm a heartless sociopath.

Daily Joke

Public speaking is easy...
Just picture everybody looking at their phones.

Daily Joke

I never think before I speak...
I like to be as suprised as everyone else by what comes out.

Friday Vid

Daily Joke

Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it? No? 

How about now?

Yesterday I recieved Suzanne Wrights newsletter, which had the first chapter of Spiral of Need.
I read it. I shouldn't have read it. Cause it's times like these that I remember what a truely impatient person I am. The chapter was funny, and I already love Ally, the lead female character.
27 days until it comes out. Que sad sigh.

Daily Joke

There are two reasons I don't give money to the homeless:

1. They use it for drugs and alcohol.
2. I need it for drugs and alcohol.

Reid just killed her father. There’s no way Evelyn’s gonna mate him now… Dammit. 

Werewolf Reid Bennett has one goal: investigate the Brookfield clan’s Itan. Reports are coming in that the male is abusing his werebears and--even if he’s a werewolf--Reid will put a stop to it. Unfortunately, the resolution ends up being permanent and now Reid’s the clan’s leader. 

The only positive about his new situation: curvy werebear Evelyn Archer. She makes his wolf howl and he aches to explore every inch of her lush frame. He’s the clan’s leader and he knows exactly where he’d like to lead Evelyn—his bedroom. 

Evelyn doesn’t know what to do with Reid. Sure, he’s the sexy wolf her werebear wants to nibble and claim, but she has bigger issues to deal with. Such as the fallout of her father’s death… at Reid’s claws. Okay, maybe she can take a break for one little lick... 

They both have plans for the Brookfield clan… and each other. Except there’s a small problem—someone wants them dead. Nothing new for Reid, but a threat against Evelyn is unacceptable. When it comes to Evelyn, he’ll break all the rules to keep her safe, including dusting off his homicidal tendencies again. 

Daily Joke

These "half the fat, all the flavor" brownies taste like lies.