Reign

Ok. I don't know who watched the mid-season finale of Reign, but oh my god, I about died l laughed so hard. Just thinking about it has me laughing again. Good stuff.

Daily Joke

The trees that are cut down to make Jenga blocks are forced to repeatedly relive their own deaths.

Daily Joke

My Grandfather won 3 medals during WWII.

In all fairness though the rest of the bowling league was overseas fighting, so he only won them by default.

Daily Joke

To the person with a kid behind them on the plane kicking your chair and coloring.
*Turn around
*Grab one of his crayons
*Slowly break it
*Whisper "you're next"

Friday Vid

I can't wait for season 3!! January 21st!!!

Daily Joke

I don't believe in hitting my children as punishment...

So I send them to school in a Justin Beiber shirt and Crocs and let the other kids beat them instead

Daily Joke

You know you're lazy when you get excited about canceled plans.

Daily Joke

When you're so bored that you alternate between closing your left eye and right eye to see how objects change places.

Daily Joke

[shootout]
Cop: I said fire a warning shot 
Me: I already did. 
Cop: you shot him in the face 
Me: warning the others that I’m a very good shot

Daily Joke

"Give me your finest meal, money is no concern"

- Me at Taco Bell on payday

Daily Joke

My great-grandfather once got off with forty women in one night.

It was how he survived the Titanic sinking.

Daily Joke

My son used a whole box of tissues last week ... He must be really sick.

Daily Joke

Thanksgiving: Celebrating the genocide of Native Americans across an entire continent.
Americans: Turning a blind eye to murder since 1621 

Daily Joke

I just rinsed off a paper plate, 
if you're wondering how my life is going.

Daily Joke

I remember when cars didn't have cup holders...

You had to drive with the beer between your legs.

Daily Joke

There comes a time of day where you realize your favorite place to be is in your own bed!

Daily Joke

It feels so good to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.

Daily Joke

That moment when you accidentally pour too much booze in your mixed drink and you have to tough it out because Momma didn't raise a quitter.

Friday Vid

Is it just me or does this sound like a soundtrack for a BDSM book or something?

"Shot down
She's coming like a hurricane
Shot down
She's in love with the pain"