Daily Joke

Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe are the only KKK that will let black guys in them.

Daily Joke

I'm currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It's called bitches and hoes.

Daily Joke

Three sisters ages, 92, 94, and 96, live together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts one foot in and pauses. "Was I getting in the tub or out?" she yells. The 94-year-old hollers back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and stops. She shouts, "Was I going up or down?" The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful", and knocks on wood for good measure. Then yells, "I'll come up and help you both as soon as I see who's at the door."

Daily Joke

I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."

Daily Joke

They should play "Let the bodies hit the floor" on life alert commercials.

Daily Joke

My wife beens missing for a week. The police told me to expect the worst, so i went to godwill and bought all her clothes back.

Daily Joke

Capitalization and punctuation is the difference between---
"I helped my Uncle Jack, off a horse."
And...
"i helped my uncle jack off a horse."

Daily Joke

Feeling adventures?
Tell a girl she has an attitude and watch her get an attitude about how she doesn't have one.

Daily Joke

They say that the ones you love the most, hurt you the worst. I didn't believe it until I cut my gums on a Dorito.

Daily Joke

It's like I don't even care about my foot hanging off the bed anymore, come get me demons. Bring me home.

Daily Joke

If you see me smiling, it's because I'm thinking of doing something evil or naughty.... if you see me laughing, it's because I've already done it.

Daily Joke

Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.

Keeping Her

Loving Her

At Ones Pleasure

Claiming Her

Craving Her

"Nice tattoo."

"Nice tits."

Ahh! The start of every great love story.

I absolutley love this series. It's short sweet and to the point. Since they are short the action and the loving comes on pretty quick but in a good way. They are funny and entertaining. And about yummy alpha male shapeshifters...my favorite

Daily Joke

•A Summary of Marvel Movies•
X-Men 2: Jean dies, but not really.
X-Men 3: Charles dies, but not really.
Thor: Loki dies, but not really.
Captain American: Bucky die, but not really.
Avengers: Phil dies, but not really.
Iron Man 3: Pepper dies, but not really.
Thor 2: Loki dies (again), but not really
Captian America 2: Nick dies, but not really.
X-Men DOFP: Everyone dies, but not really.

Daily Joke

Walking into an "automatic door" is why I have trust issues.

Daily Joke

I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.

Daily Joke

Someday in the distant future people will be able to hear "What is love?" without the primal urge to reply, "Baby, don't hurt me."

Daily Joke

I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" I didn't know what to say. So I said yes. Stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.

Daily Joke

I'm going to kill that spider!
Unless it moves two centimeters. Then I'm gonna jump, scream, throw my shoe across the room and run for it.

Daily Joke

You might be a redneck if your mom gives you tips on how to sneek booze into sporting events.

The Wait Is Over!!!

Kenna Mangum was born a witch. She’s always known it -her family has always known it - from the moment she burst into flames in her father’s arms after she was born.


Denied interaction with regular society while she was coached into controlling her powers, Kenna has always felt a longing to join the rest of the world and get to experience a “normal” life.


Now her wish is about to be granted.


But when Kenna walks into public school for the first time, she immediately locks eyes with Jett Blackstone and realizes all chances of “normal” just disappeared.

Daily Joke

Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth to a woman and he takes his very life into his own hands.

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

Daily Joke

A cop stopped me and said "License and registration, please". So I offered him a donut and said "I donut have one" and we laughed and laughed. And then I got arrested.

Just to give you something to make these last few hours before weekend really kicks off!

Your Welcome!!

Daily Joke

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid....I honestly thought you already knew.

Daily Joke

That awful moment as a child, after you've done something bad and you are so guilt ridden, you think at any moment your moms going to look at you and know exactlly what you did, so you snap and confess every little detail. "It was me! I did it!"

Daily Joke

Sometimes I see a baby and think "Awww, I want one!" Then I find my TV remote in the fridge again and think "Yeah, maybe I'm not ready."

Tomorrow is set to be a glorious day. Yes, it is. The Phoenix Pack series is expanding!! Feral Sins, Wicked Cravings, Carnal Secrets, and now Dark Instincts. I can't wait. You got to love the werewolves, I know I do. Plus you can't forget the hotness of the total alpha male thing. I will let you know how it goes...you know, after I read it a couple times. Depending on how it goes.

Daily Joke

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "Act natural. You're innocent."

Daily Joke

Next time your feeling down about something, just think about the kid that got benched so Air Bud could play.

Daily Joke

Nothing says "I don't take you serious" like your dog wagging it's tail when you're yelling at them.

Daily Joke

*Guy who invented the "bad finger"*

"I'm so mad right now I could, I could.....GAAHH!"

*Throws up middle finger*

"What's that?"
"I don't know, but it feels right."

Daily Joke

Ever realized how surreal reading a book actually is? You stare at marked slices of a tree for hours on end, hallucinating vividly.

April showers bring May flowers....and Alex O'Loughlin. Our Man of the Month.

Alex O'Loughlin

So they recently put Hawaii Five-0 on Netflix. I had never seen it before, but I heard it was good. So I watched the first episode and I was hooked. I've been on a Five-0 bender ever since. Thus the reason that Alex has the honored title of Man of the Month. I mean damn, look at him. He's like the bad boy your not supposed to notice or give the time of day but you do anyway, because you just can't say no. With the tattoos, the tan, the scruff, the little smile that's not really a smile. Delicious. Yes, he may be married, but we can still gawk and drool from afar...as long as it doesn't become a stalker case, you're good to go! Enjoy!

Daily Joke

I love when someone in a scary movie yells out "Hello?", as if the bad guy is gonna be like "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen....you need a sandwich?"