Gasp!!

Daily Joke

Shout out to all those guys wearing speedos! You guys have balls....I know because I can see them.

Daily Joke

That awful moment when you're in the shower, and you hear loud thumps and you think, "They're killing my family, and I'll have to fight the attacker naked."

Out today in the U.S.

I can't wait to see this. I'm a big fan of Milla Jovovich, ever since Resident Evil freaked me out as a kid.

It's almost time to say goodbye to Dylan O'Brien. 
*Sad sigh*
But on the upside, we will be seeing him on Teen Wolf season 5 on June 29. Come on, one shirtless scene for him that's all I'm asking.

Friday Video--Frideo

As I said last week on Fridays I'll post videos I like called, Frideo. So heres todays.

Daily Joke

My luck is so bad, if scientists invented a pill to make us immortal, I guarantee I'd choke to death swallowing it.

Scream with me people!!!

My Savior. August 25, 2015!

Amelia has dreamt of her mate since she was a little girl. All her life visions of a golden prince have warmed her heart and promised a fairy-tale future. She longs for the day when they will finally be together.

When the fateful day arrives and she meets Darian for the first time, she is nearly destroyed by his unequivocal rejection. His continued denial of their destined relationship has her doubting her own self worth and the visions she has had all her life.

Darian is teetering on the edge. He refuses to acknowledge Amelia as his mate and shadows continue to spread across his heart. He has grown used to the emptiness in his soul and almost fears the barrage of emotions she elicits. When an unexpected tragedy sends Darian spiraling into a hopeless abyss, will Amelia have the strength to pull him out, or will she succumb to her own darkness?

Daily Joke

It was when I stabbed a Capri Sun perfectly the first time, right in the grey circle, that I knew I wanted to be an assassin.

Last Night

So last night Americas Got Talent premiered. And I have to say my favorite act of the night was the hypno dude. Just because of the sheer joy the three judges had from shacking Howies hand.

Also, I had my first thunderstorm of the year! It rained, it thundered, it lightened, and my dog freaked out and hid under the bed. Feels like summer!

Daily Joke

Why I wear Fluffy socks
2%: Comfort 
3%: Warmth
95%: to slide across the floor like a freakin Ninja!!

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Bella: You're skin is pale white, you dress fashionably, and you abstain from sex. I know what you are.
Edward: Say it, out loud. Say it.
Bella: A Jonas Brother....
Edward: That's right...... Wait what??

Daily Joke

Every once in a while I stop and think, "I know you can read my thoughts."

Just in case there's a psychic nearby.

So I watched both ape movies again yesterday. Am I the only one that cries during both movies? And the messed up part is, if it was people instead of animals, I wouldn't have cried. *Spoilers* But when they leave him at the ape pound and when Koba kills Ash, I cry every time. I'm such a softie!

Daily Joke

I choked on a carrot today, and all I could think to myself was, "I bet a donut wouldn't have done that to me."

Last night I watched both Horrbible Bosses back to back and I was like

Thank God for the pause button!

Aaaaahhhhhh! Did you see it? I saw it. I so can't wait. It makes me want to read the books, but I don't want to ruin the movie. Ah indecision.

Daily Joke

LIFE HACK:
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

Delicious Dylan O'Brien

Take it off!

New. Fridays I'll post a video I like.

Daily Joke

The police have just released my mother-in-law after questioning her about the murder of her husband.


They only spoke to her for half an hour before coming to the conclusion he committed suicide.

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Making lemonade out of lemons.
You may have lost a toe, but you'll always have your sense of humor.

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Have you ever procrastinated so hard that you looped back around to being productive?

Like you are literally willing to do anything but your work, so you clean your entire house.

Suzanne Wright. I love you. In a completely platonic, non-stalker way.

Burn! Coming out July 1, 2015.
For an excerpt go to

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1618098065069995&id=1392617144284756&refid=17&_ft_=top_level_post_id.1618098065069995&__tn__=%2As

Then we have the synopsis for 'Spiral of Need (The Mercury Pack Series)' Coming out September 29, 2015.

Ally Marshall isn’t just a wolf shifter—she’s a Seer. But a girl doesn’t exactly need special powers to know that Derren Hudson despises her entire kind. Disdain practically rolls off the Beta of the Mercury Pack . . . disdain mixed with a healthy dose of desire. And no matter how much the ruggedly handsome male appeals to her, this is one call of the wild she’s determined to ignore.

After one betrayal too many, Derren doesn’t have much use for Seers—except for Ally. Forced into acting as her protector, he finds himself intensely and passionately drawn to the woman who incites his primal instinct to claim. And when enemies target the pack, Ally’s gift may be just what the Mercury Pack needs. Can he put his distrust aside, or will he force himself to turn his back on the one woman who makes his inner beast howl?

Insert a loud squeal of delight for Burn and a sad but excited sigh for Spiral of Need because it's going to be months before I get to read Derrens story, and I am not known for my patience.

Mike & Molly season finale last night

I'm pretty sure Mike and Carol broke up. I'm so sad...don't they know it's bros before hoes!!

Daily Joke

Live today like it's your last!!
But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't.

Daily Joke

I don't know if Steve Jobs got into heaven.... God is a bit touchy about apples.

I am so praying that this is great and they don't completely ruin it.
Some shows and movies do the books justice, (The Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Twilight - don't be hatin') and there's some that surpass the books (True Blood, Vampire Diaries, The Maze Runner). Then there's the ones that fail so epically (like Vampire Academy, don't get me wrong I liked the movie, but in comparison to the books it sucked. I read the first book in the series in one night, when i was in eighth grade. So you can imagine how unbelievably amazing it had to be to keep my attention at that age. Also I'll do a review of those books later, they deserve their own tribute!)
I love this story. Maggie and Caleb! Swoon! I didn't actually find these books until all four were already out (that's not including the latest Undeniably Chosen, about Ava and Seth). But I read the books religiously. This epic love story, them finding each other in this supernatural way and fighting for each other throughout the series. They faced all their problems together, as a team. (I love a good girl power story!) But she didn't let herself be hardheaded, she leaned on Caleb and let him be there for her. I think i loved Independence -the 4th book- the best, mainly because it switched POVs back and forth. So taking my love into consideration I hope this show/movie (whatever it's going to be) is great!!!

Daily Joke

17 Of The Greatest Responses To An Ex Text Of All Time
                
1. This person who got straight to the POINT.

2. This person who laughed until they cried.

3. This person pretending to be an error message.

4. This person who believes that honesty is the best policy.

5. This person who asks the important questions.

6. This person throwing down a truth bomb.

7. This person getting REAL.

8. This person throwing major shade.

9. This person with a fiery response.

10. This person laying down the law.

11. This person with the meme that says it all.

12. This person getting sexual.

13. This person using pictures to say it all.

14. This person calling it like they see it.

15. This person telling it like it is.

16. This person who values honesty above all else.

17. And this person who doesn’t have time to play games.

*I found this on Suzanne Wrights fb from buzzfeed

Is it going against woman-kind that I like Adams verse better?

Daily Joke

I don't think we get smarter as we get older.
I think we just run out of stupid things to do.

Everyone loves a good bromance!!

Reign season 2 finale and VD season 6 finale.
I'm gonna make it quick.
I totally cried during both episodes. In VD, when Elena was saying goodbye to everyone. She's in some supernatural coma or whatever...but she has to be in season 7! I laughed when Damon decapitated Kai. It was great!
In Reign, when Francis' son was "killed". He didn't actually die though. His mom is a complete B**ch! Mary is a genius. She single-handedly killed the whole take-over plot.
And Francis is dying!!! He can not die!

Daily Joke

A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn't know it was even possible to be this jealous.

So last night marked the fourth episode in season 21 of The Ultimate Fighter.

I love/hate this show right now. I love this show because the drama between the two teams. The way they hate eachother so mich is great, expecially the coaches. I hate this season because you would think with all the animosity and bad blood built up that it would make for some epic fights. WRONG! The fights so far have sucked! Not one person has gone out there and really went for it, it's like they are scared. And I don't know how the Blaclzilians can be so proud they have won all the fights, laying on top of someone for 10 min. isn't fighting!! At least last nights fight that didn't happen... but only because ATTs guy got to his feet.
I want to see a real fight. For them to go in there and act like they are actually competing for something.
On a side note, "Creepy" Steve totally freaked me out when he had the seizure.

Daily Joke

Need money for college.
Need college for job.
Need job for money.
WHO THE HELL DESIGNED THIS SYSTEM?!?!

Daily Joke

You should set your alarm to play the Jurassic Park theme song every morning, so when you groan about not wanting to get up, you'll feel like a majestic dinosaur.

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The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries..

That is until I unpacked them all and said, "Now that's how I want you to do it."

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Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ships kitchen.

Attention! Attention!

Attention to all. Tonight at 8 pm, The Originals (spin-off of The Vampire Diaries), is having its second season finale. I'm equal parts excited and sad. Excited because we get to see the rest of Klaus' sure to be genius plan and Rebekah is going to be back in her original body....see what I did there, original, get it? But I'm also sad because this means its going to be months before it comes on again. I hate the periods between seasons they drive me insane!

Daily Joke

A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else's, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.

Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there. Including the best one, which is mine and no, she's not for sale.

Dylan O'Brien

He just kills me. Not litteraly, but you know. And can i just add he looks so much hotter with hair!!

Daily Joke

If anyone ever asks me "Who is this?" I always respond "Jake from State Farm."



Random Thought:
What if the guy on the commercial really was having an affair with Jake from State Farm?

Daily Joke

Did you know?

Killing spiders makes their gene pool a lot sneakier. If zombies attacked tomorrow, the slowest and dumbest people would die off, and the human race would become stronger.

Therefore, if you manage to smash a spider, you likely got rid of the dumbest one in your house, allowing the smarter, hidden spiders to hook up and make lots of baby spider geniuses.

Spoilers! Don't read unless you watched last nights episodes!!

Thursday nights on the CW. Vampire Diaries and Reign.

So Vampire Diaries first. I read the books before the show started and when I saw it was going to be a show of course I had to watch it. And man am I glad I did. The characters are great, I've laughed, and I've cried. But as for last night's episode....oh my geezes! If Elena or Joan died I'm gonna be so mad. Because poor Alaric! Everytime he falls in love and starts to be really happy, the woman dies in some gruesome fashion. Also I really didn't want Elena to take the cure, but now that she did I don't know if I want Damon to take it. Part of me does want him to so they can be together until they die, but the other part is like Damon is a vampire...he wouldn't be Damon if he couldn't rip peoples hearts out and be a total badass. 

Next is Reign. I'll make it quick. I so think Mary is lying about being preggers with Condes baby. And can I say what a total douche Conde is, turning his back on his family. *Insert string of creatively put together curse words* I also loved the fight scene, we don't get a lot of them on Reign. Also the woods healer chick is totally batshite crazy.

Man I feel better getting all that off my chest.

This song has been stuck in my head for days! But I so don't mind when it makes me think of this.

Spoiler Alerts!

So I totally love Reign, but I missed the last 5 episodes. They were just sitting on my DVR all sad. Then today they just started screaming "Watch Me! Watch Me! We want to be watched!" So I watched. I couldn't wait another minute...mainly because I read the info for tonights episode that talked about Condes betrayel. Which was a huge shock to me because the last episode I watched Conde and Mary were fixing to run off to Scotland together. Which I'm glad they are over because Mary and Francis need to get back together. I know she's had a really tough time, but they need to be together. Damn it!!!
So, you should really watch this show. From the start. Theres no point watching a series starting from elsewhere. It's such a great show. Crazy rulers, backstabbing, love, people getting poisoned, drama, suspense, and epic awesomeness!!

Daily Joke

Sometimes I feel like I have my life together and I'm like....

Wow, that was a really nice 45 seconds.

Mmmmmm. Have you ever seen a better sight?....Me either.

Daily Joke

To Do List:
1. Eat vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public. 2. Hire two private investigators and make them follow each over.
3. Wear shirt that says "life." Hand out lemons on the corner.
4. Get in a crowded elevator and say "I bet you are all wondering why we are here today." 5. Major in philosophy. Ask people why they like that with their fries.        6. Run into store and ask what year it is. When someone answer, yell "It worked!" 7. Become a doctor. Change last name to Acula. 8. Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot how to say "help I have been turned into a parrot." 9. Change first name to Simon and talk in third person. 10. Follow joggers around in the car blasting " Eye of the Tiger" for encouragement. Warning: I am not responsible if you get arrested or simply hit in the face.

Daily Joke

5yr old: Can we go to a haunted house this year?
Mom: What's wrong with the one we live in?
5yr old: WHAT?!
Mom: Goodnight, son.

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Officer: "Is that cocaine?"
Me:  "I dunno, let me smell it..."

(Boom! No evidence!)

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"You the bomb!"
"No. You the bomb!"
Kind gesture in America. Argument in the Middle East.

Saying goodbye to Alex O'Loughlin....and hello to Dylan O'Brien!! Yum! Yum!

He's hilarous in Teen Wolf and I so loved him in The Maze Runner. Although I like Teen Wolf better, hello shirtless werewolves, kind of a no brainer. I also love his smile. When he smiles, I wanna smile. How can you not. Go on, look at the grin on that hot face and try not to smile to......that's what I thought.

Lets also not forget the fact that he's completely edible.

Daily Joke

Bumblebees don't sting you they they just ignore you, and in some ways.. that hurts more.